I Got Your Nose

My mother-in-law is currently visiting, and last week Erin decided to show her the “I got your nose” game.  All good, right?  For those of you not familiar with this game, you gently pinch someone’s nose and then put your thumb between your first and middle finger.  Thumb representing the nose.

I am sure we wowed my mother-in-law with her grandson’s fluency in Turkish.  This innocent game that we grew up with in the Anglo-Sphere is how you flip someone off in Turkey. I am not sure if it is used in other countries or cultures.  It's not something I would really do, but I have not tried to flip anyone off in Dubai, so can't speak for what works in the Middle East.

I did some Googling about the variety of ways to insult people around the globe, and found several funny blog entries about this.  I thought it might be interesting to explain here, but it is quite technical.  Nor would it be as good as one site I found with Jack the Sailor demonstrating various gestures.  If you want to travel and not offend anyone, I suggest you look him up to cover all basis.  Or you could just keep your hands in your pockets.  If this proves to be offensive somewhere, I take no responsibility.  If you choose to insult people in this way, it’s all you.

However, I can advise you that just because another country has their own sign language for flipping someone off, this does not mean that the middle finger does not translate.  I’ve not tested this myself, but I have experienced it first hand.

The first time I was encouraged to drive in Istanbul – three days after I moved there - someone who was in the car “waved” his middle finger to a guy who was driving very badly and almost hit us.  Be sure, the driver of the other car knew what that meant and proceeded to run me off the road onto the very narrow shoulder of the Golden Horn bridge.

I don’t think this was staged to teach me how to drive and gain street smarts in Istanbul.  If so, the guy was a great actor and looked pretty angry as he proceeded to get out of his car and come toward us.   We were out of there as fast as the heavy car with no power steering would allow – screeching tires and all.

I think we can thank Hollywood for this.  It must be the result of all those action movies that has globalized the middle finger.  So, maybe better to take the risk and leave your hands in your pocket.  And do not try to hide anyone’s nose!

Another typical week in Dubai...

Road construction in Dubai is well planned. Now that everyone has returned from summer holiday and kids are back in school, they have rerouted the lanes where they are doing construction near my house. Very intelligently, they have condensed this down to one lane is a couple of key places. Very well thought out!

“Look madam. Same Same.” As we were putting my son in the car, our resident car washer points out that my husband and son look alike.

Sweet Lime = Orange. I ordered a sweet lime juice from the local juice bar near my office. They present me with a tall glass of orange juice. I try to tell them it is orange juice. “No madam, it’s a lime”. Seriously, it is orange. “No madam. We will show you an orange.” They then proceed to show me a mandarin! To busy to debate with this very nice Philippino woman and Indian guy making juice, I take my orange juice and go back to work.

I had to go to the Dubai Mall for something. There, in the parking lot, a huge Rolls Royce with a can of Red Bull and plastic container of cookies – you know the kind you get from super market bakeries- on the dashboard. If it wasn’t Dubai, I would think the kids borrowed Dad’s car while he was away on a business trip.

Within the Dubai Mall there is a huge candy store – one of the largest in the world. Also recently, a huge Hershey store has opened as well. Not bad for a country whose local population already has the highest rate of diabetes in the world!

Had dinner with a friend and a local woman came up to me to ask about what brand my bag was. That is a HUGE compliment. The local women here are handbag crazy. If there is a sale or new season at Louis Vuitton, look out. I guess the bright happy green color of my modest Kate Spade was appealing.

Dropped my son off at school, dropped my husband off at a local sailing club so he can finish his captain course. As we pulled into the empty club on an early weekday morning, I almost felt retired! But only for a second… and now back to reality.

The Veiled Kiss

So I took Erin to Ikea tonight to try to find a cheap solution for toy storage for his room. I think we were successful. Yes, they have Ikea here - its huge and often crowded. My new favorite time to go - Monday night..almost crickets chirping. Lovely.

Erin had a blast letting me push him around the store. And Ikea is never big enough because he had a blast using the funnel I picked up from the kitchen section as a megaphone. He can already be pretty loud if he wants - he needs no magnification really. He was quite successful in disturbing people. Most people laughed at him. I tried to do that whole "use your inside voice please" and all that good calm mommy stuff - he could care less. My favorite was when I decided to ignore him and I'd just get those stares - you know the ones. The people who look at you like "don't you hear your kid?". They don't know if he's just mental, or if its just me...no worries, its me :-) He's fine.

He desperately wanted to play in the ball pool they have for kids, but they wouldn't let him because he was not tall enough yet. He was so upset. I knew there was another play area further in the mall attached, so I took him there as he protested the entire way - even louder than before and without his megaphone.

As he was playing there, much to my surprise two children were fascinated with his hair. The boy who was maybe around five or so kept coming back to touch it. This happens sometimes, but usually by adults.

When then proceeded to dinner, at Chili's. Yes, we really do live in a "foreign" country. I hate these chain franchise things with a passion, but unfortunately that is almost all there is here. Yuck. But it was one of the better choices believe it or not. I'm mostly pleased Erin was most happy with his milk rather than the greasy food. He ate well, but he is not a big fried food or junk food person - with the exception of his liking for crunchy cookies and biscuits which he gets from me!

After dinner we went to watch these large inflatable balls they have on the water that they rent out and let people run around inside. If you ever want to feel like a hamster, I think this is it.

As we were watching, two Gulf Arab women and their children came by. I overheard them discussing Erin's hair - its quite long now as we haven't cut it yet - more than 2 years. And they were debating if he was a boy or girl. The women knew, but her young daughter was insisting it was a girl. So with what little Arabic I recall I turned to them and said yes, he was a boy. The little girl was shocked- not at my Arabic, but that Erin was a boy :)

They were all incredibly kind and the one woman asked if she could kiss Erin. Of course I didn't mind. If I were to be asked this same question in the US, there is probably no way I would let a stranger kiss my child. But here, that's what they do. And her face was completely covered except for her eyes. I am assuming they were from Saudi, but I am not sure. Erin got a kiss through the veil. Wow...not many males if any are so lucky!

Erin was in a good mood, so he didn't overly protest. He quickly became very shy, but he was polite. Thank goodness he didn't start growling like a lion as he often does these days.

He seems to have a lot of luck with the local ladies. I recall him as a young one year old flirting with some local girls at a nearby table during lunch one day. They love children, and I guess especially young blonde ones. Even when we were in the Maldives, one Arab woman, who I think was on her honeymoon wanted her photo taken with Erin!

The family kept moving on with the exception of the little girl who stayed behind a few more seconds to keep taking video of us. I didn't realize until she was almost finished. I didn't mind, but I just found it funny. I am so interested in their culture and always taking photos of local things. I don't really see anything so unique about us. It was interesting to be on the flip side. I didn't mind, but I just found it very strangely so being a foreigner in a foreign country!