The Art of Humility

I often feel that one of the keys to integrating with a new culture is personal humility.  Not so much in the sense that you are less of a person, but in the sense that you need to put all the confusion, misunderstanding, language barrier and embarrassment aside, take a deep breath and self-deprecate.  Often. Laugh at yourself.  Laugh at the situation.  Often.

Most likely, the people of your newly embraced culture are not going laugh or ridicule you unless it is customary to do so.  If this is the case, then do not be insulted or angered.  Laugh with them.

If they are not like this, then you should laugh and embrace your embarrassment as you learn the rules of the road.

To say I have had many moments of humility in my years abroad would be an understatement. I thought I was on a brink of another one this week when I purchased a new dishwasher.

I arrived home late the day it arrived, so I never really looked at it until the next day.  Much to my surprise, it was gold?  I specifically asked for silver.  How did I end up with a gold dishwasher?  And who buys a gold dishwasher?  I had a lot of questions.

Several calls to many customer service centers led to dead ends.  I would have to go all the way back to the hypermarket where I purchased it to see if they might change it.

Might change it?  I had my previous dishwasher for about 16 years.  I don't think I could bare to live with a gold one that long!

So after a long day at work, I ventured into the trenches of the Dubai Shopping Festival to the super store to find the person that sold this to me.  Head high, I had my assertive game face ready.  I couldn't find the person I wanted so I spoke with someone else explaining the challenges I have with appliances that have too much bling.

He immediately opened the door of the display and showed me a bit of goldish-green paper on the inside.  He very calmly suggested I try to remove the paper from the door.

Fantastic.  The protective sheet of paper should be removed from the door.  While the solution was easy it was not what I expected at all, but yet, I should have known!  Logic, where are you hiding?

Was I embarrassed?  A bit.  Did I laugh at myself?  A bit more.  I do not surprise myself anymore, but I could not chalk this one up to culture clash.  This is my overworked brain loosing its touch with reality and common sense.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how humility is not just practical for learning new cultural norms.  It goes way beyond that.  Even into the world of gold appliances.  As I walked to my car with a much needed ironing board I purchased that same day, I hoped I would remember to remove it's plastic packaging before use.

Struggling to fit it into my car, I wondered for a brief second if I shouldn't just tie it on to the top of my car like a surfboard.  You know, just to seal the deal on humility.

Eid Mubarak!

Sheikh Zayed Mosque, Abu Dhabi

Last week there was a coffee morning at the school for parents.  I am not really a coffee morning kind of mom as I typically only have time to enjoy my weekday coffee engaged in work rather than over good friendly conversation.  Erin's blood sugar was a bit off, so I thought this might be something to do while I stuck around until his next check.

I am glad I stayed.  Not only for Erin, but I also got a chance to meet the very nice parents of his classmates.  Staying really confirmed we chose the right school.  While it is an American curriculum, most children are not American, or have one parent that is not American.  Even better, they embrace Dubai and are excited to be here.

The benefit of going to this school is that Erin will be exposed to many cultures.  He has children in his class from China, Korea, Egypt, Ireland, America, Pakistan, Morocco, Spain and more.  The statistic on the number of languages spoken across the school are too many to count.

Not only will he get a good education, but equally important, he will grow up learning about different cultures and traditions.  As today is Eid al Adha, they even learned a little bit about this in school which is great.  For anyone that might be skeptical, this is not in a religious context.  Plain and simple, it is about cultural awareness and understanding others.

This week, the letter of the week was "E".  For Erin, this meant that he was the class "Star of the Week".  The Star gets to help the teacher with different tasks and is featured in the newsletter that goes out to parents.  They also include an interview with the child.  I was so surprised at some of his answers.  Favorite color - Green.  Really?  He is so boy it usually Ferrari red.

I cannot tell you how pleased I was to see his answer to the question, Where are you from?  His answer was America and Turkey.

I had one of those small moments when you think that just maybe you have done something successful as a parent.  While it is a small thing, it is a huge deal for us that Erin understand both his American and Turkish background.  It only enhances it more that he is in a place that appreciates it too.

For those of you celebrating today... Eid Mubarak and Bayram Kutlu Olsun!!

US Reflections

Last week I was in a hurry and very excited that I was going to the computer store to purchase my long researched and awaited Mac. I was able to meander through the construction and find the computer store hidden behind the upcoming Dubai metro stop that had the Mac and the expertise I had been searching for. But shoot, no easy parking and one of those pay for parking lots.

Now I heard there was a way to pay for parking through your mobile phone by just dialing a number - cool, so I wanted to try that and I also did not have any change at all to drop into the box to get a ticket. I tried to dial what looked like some code number on the meter - nothing. Shoot..what to do, what to do. It was only 30 minutes before the meter would be free and I would only be about 5 - 10 minutes because I knew what I wanted, they were expecting me, so it was a clean deal.

Ah-ha! I had a parking card that my very organized husband bought for me some time ago. So I put that in the machine, it still had credit - thankfully. Oh, but wait, the machine still was not giving me a ticket. Why? After a few more tries, a local man arrives w/ who I assume are his sons. "Do you need change?", he asks. I am so embarrassed...um, er...well no, but my parking card is not working. He walks back to his car and gets a dirham for me and puts it in and gives me the ticket. I am grateful and still embarrassed.

Me, walking to the computer store in my mini sun-dress in a sharia lawed country, can't help but wonder...if the situation was reversed and he was dressed as himself, an Arab man in a Dishtash in the US, how quick would someone be to offer him change for the parking meter?

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Today I had a doctor appointment. Since I am in the healthcare field, we started chatting a bit. He was pleased to learn I grew up in Houston, TX b/c he spent a few years working there at a hospital in the Medical Center. He really liked it and enjoyed his time there and would like to go back and work there. Wow...he is half Iraqi and speaking the praises of the US. I told him I was not sure I could go back as I am not sure how safe it is and I fear for my personal safety and that of my son as well. We have a lot of problems.

His side of the story was, yes, but no place is perfect. The people are nice, cosmopolitan and it is a nice place to work. There is a lot of opportunity and in the area of medical research there is a lot of potential. Hmmm...I had to agree. It is very easy to criticize where you are from, and I think as Americans, we often take certain things for granted - whether we live there or not. When you grow up with these opportunities and always have them, you think anything is possible. If you know what it is like to not have access to these things and dream about them, it is a big deal. Don't take it for granted.