A few weeks ago I took my son to the library. He searched all the books laid out for
his age group and in the end decided on a Barbie Three Musketeers story. This was clearly a very “girl”
book - long dresses, pink, and all those stereotypes.
We never pushed any particular gender toys onto our
son. However, he is typically boy
– loves cars, construction trucks and many other things that are associated
with boys.
I was not so bothered by his book selection, but I thought maybe
my husband would be. I know he
loves Erin more than life itself, but I recall his surprise about two years ago
when he came into our bedroom to find Erin and I playing in my makeup. It is only face paint to a three year
old. It has no gender context when
it is face paint. It’s a party.
Erin did scan the book cover and content. “Look mommy, there are swords”. I felt a little sense of relief that I would not have to explain his book choice. But
yet, why would I? We love our
child unconditionally. And the fact that he scanned the book to find weapons - total boy.
In all fairness to the book, it was a pretty exciting
adventure and much to my surprise, there was a
girl power theme. There was a prince, but he did not save the girls, they
saved themselves - a good message for girls and boys.
After the library we stopped by the local party store to get
invitations for his 5th birthday party. As I was waiting to check out, Erin found another item. “Mommy, I want you to wear this to my
birthday party”. What?!!
Much to my surprise, he found a sexy santa outfit on a
discount rack that was more of the Victoria's Secret genre. For sure I would not be wearing THAT to
his birthday party.
I tried to postpone it to later. “No mommy, you need to buy this now.” How about another red dress? “No mommy, this is the one you need to
wear to my party.” Did I mention he was a boy?
Needless to say, we did not buy it. However, any concerns about playing with make up or reading a Barbie book would instantly be forgotten.
One week ago today we celebrated Erin’s 5th
birthday. The big five. No longer a baby. No longer a toddler. No longer a pre-schooler. A boy. All had a great time, and there was no mention of me not
dressing like this!
1 comment:
Boys are an enigma to me! My girls are all girl and it takes all of my thought processes to teach a "girl power" message in any scenario. My teenager tells me of friends' drama with boys and I make it a "don't wait around for a man to make you feel good" message, my 10 yr old tells me this boy is the smartest in her class, and I explain she is as smart as he is, but maybe in different areas. Its exhausting raising girls! My only wish for parents of boys is to teach them respect of women/girls. I am not sure this is done enough today. Happy Birthday Erin!
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